The familiar pattern has returned.
When I say pattern, I mean the loss and regrowth – but I could just as easily mean the holes on my head where hair should be. This time I have done something slightly different to deal with the oh-so familiar cycle of hair loss.
Since mid 2018 – I’ve been hiding (hair loss) in plain sight. I’ve been using a spray and fibres to cover patches – which help me feel more comfortable in everyday life. Times such as:
- going out somewhere
- heading to work
- standing in a queue
- sitting in front of someone on the train
Times where you just want to blend in and deal without the paranoid feelings creeping in that people may be looking at your strange hair pattern.
Why did I do it?
I always thought I wouldn’t do this and ’embracing the bald’ was the way forward for me – this was also the reason I shaved all my hair off the first time. But this time, with experience – I knew that every time I shaved it – the bald patches would be really visible due to my dark hair regrowth – so I decided not to.
I only applied to the huge patch/Friar Tuck spot in the front of my head and (very occasionally) on the larger patches at the back of my head. Here’s the huge patch which has been growing and actually changing in size over 2018/19
The spot remained the same – and covering it helped me feel more confident and able to walk around without feeling like people were staring at the spot in the middle of my head.
As you can see – it didn’t budge in 2019. And it is still here in 2020! However it is slightly different this time – more on that later…
How I did it
If I wasn’t working, going out or heading off somewhere – I didn’t bother spraying anything at all. I feel comfortable with my family and friends seeing the patches – and if I needed to go out and couldn’t be bothered spraying – I could always wear a hat if I really wanted to.
I used a spray and fibres and it looks like this (This post is not sponsored and unfortunately I have paid for every item I have bought). Though I bought the ‘black’ version, not the dark brown ones as pictured.
If I was going somewhere or wanted to cover the patch then I:
- styled my hair with wax
- sprayed the black ‘disguise spray’ onto the bald patch
- dropped some fibres over the area
- finished with a fixing spray (strong hairspray)
– et voila. It seemed to work.
Here’s a video of the daily spray – it takes under a minute
How has it worked for me?
Well nobody has ever noticed the spray – or were too polite to say.
As far how I felt using it – most of the time, I was fine with it – unless I was:
- under a mega bright light
- already feeling low
- caught in a sudden downpour of rain
And even when I was caught in the rain – it didn’t ever ‘run’ or stream down my face.
The times I felt uncomfortable were few and far between and it just allowed me to get shit done without obsessing about my hair – which lets be honest – I (and anyone else reading this) has probably done enough of over the years.
It allowed me to give my brain a break for very little effort.
I was sceptical at first and didn’t want to use it and have constantly been asking my partner and friends – is it time to shave it all off? And they keep saying ‘No’.
But these were the same people who encouraged me to use that god awful eyebrow pencil and we all know how that turned out… WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!?
So what’s happening now?
I’m posting now as I’m aware I have been consistently losing and gaining hair. I have been spraying and didn’t really want to give a depressing update to anyone that follows this looking for hope.
But a number of people have asked how I am doing and wanted an update and some of you who have now become friends keep saying “your hair looks fine in your pics on social media” so I thought it was time to come out with the truth.
I HAVE BEEN SPRAYING THE BALD AWAY
I am still using it when I feel like it – not everyday – though have been reaching a point over the past 6 months where I want to shave it all off again – as I feel like a fraud and just want to be more comfortable in my own skin.
This would then mean shaving my head everyday and I don’t know if I want to do that either.
Here’s the big ‘Friar Tuck’ spot with white regrowth – at the end of January 2020
I will continue to use the spray occasionally, until either the hole finally closes up or I get too pissed off and shave my head. Either way – I will try to update you in real time.
I have noticed that some of the hairs in the spots I was spraying are actually growing back – but white. I now have an ever increasing collection of white patches all over my head. Have a look:
Now I can’t be too sure if this is just normal ageing and I’m getting grey. Or is this the non-pigmented hair coming back before it turns black again (which is what happened last time).
I also can’t be sure that the huge spot isn’t just a part of male pattern baldness at the age of 42 – but it is a very alopecia sized spot and there is grey hair growing back in there. so who bloody knows?!
Anyway – that is my very overdue update for 2020. I’m happy to carry on looking like a monochrome leopard – for now.