Month: January 2017

It’s happening again

Well my hair is officially coming out again – after months of denial – I popped into H&M today and unfortunately caught the three way view of the back, front and side of my head.

It’s looking holey, threadbare and generally a bit shit. Here are some photos taken this week:

Bald patch at the front - January 2017

Patch at the front – January 2017


Back of the head January 2017

The back of my head January 2017

Back of the heed January 2017


I’ve still got a way to go before it gets as bad as it did the first time but a small part of my brain can’t stop worrying that THIS is going to happen again:


My hair when I first shaved it off back in 2012 – look those eyebrows! Strong eyebrow game.

Partial loss all over

2012 – Patchy McPatcherson

Where else am I shedding?

My chest has a few patches  – though there is a lot of white hair growing back in each patch.

Is there any regrowth?

I think so -there are the white hairs mentioned above and  my moustache seems to be filling out – but I’ve thought that for a while now. I don’t actually  know. I will need to compare old and new pics and look a little closer.

Trying to keep my shit together

Being a natural pessimist and a bit of a worrier – my inner voice keeps repeating  the following type of statements on a nasty, insidious loop:

  • It’s all coming out AGAIN

  • It’s going to happen the same as last time

  • I’m going to have to wear hats all the time again

  • I wonder if it’s because I’m stressed

  • Why am I so stressed? If I wasn’t so stressed my hair might grow back

It’s pretty annoying to say the least but I am trying to be mindful and relax. I know from past experience that worrying, freaking out and being sad does NOTHING to improve mood, regrow hair or make you a nice person to be around.

It’s hard to maintain a chipper outlook when you wake up and your pillow looks like a barbershop floor or you’re stood in front of a stranger and wondering if they’re staring at your hair.

What am I doing differently?

I’m not taking any anti depressants or smoking cigarettes anymore. Though that annoying inner voice keeps reminding me – Your hair came back when you started smoking again last time.

I’m taking a drug as explained in my last post – called Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN). I have been taking it since 5 November 2016 and so far – NOTHING. I am paying for a private prescription and my hair seems to be getting worse. Apparently it takes a while to kick in. I’m giving it 6 months and then knocking it on the head – pun intended.

I’ve started wolfing down vitamins like they’re haribo – I’m currently taking:

  • Vitamin D
  • Turmeric
  • Vitamin C
  • Acidophilus

I am also taking Chinese medicine – in the form of a capsule with Phytofol – this herb is used to nourish the liver and replenish Kidney energy (Jing) to promote healthy hair follicle function.

hair tonic with phytofol

Hair Tonic

This Chinese medicine was given to me as a present on my recent holiday to Australia. I met up with a fellow AA sufferer – Johannes, who has been following my blog for a few years. We met up for dinner and drinks when I was in Melbourne in December. We chatted about lots – including AA coping strategies and different things we have tried to regrow hair.

Johannes and me

Me and Johannes

Johannes advice

It was amazing for me to meet Johannes. he was a very positive person and someone who I am glad now to call my friend. He gave me this piece of sage advice -which I am trying to reflect on whenever I get down:

Remember, yes AA while not life threatening, is certainly life altering but you are not your hair, my friend – You are so much more, and hair while of course aesthetically nice does not define you.
I think we could all learn a lot from the above quote. It’s very hard to shift that awful voice that sometimes submerges your waking thoughts.
Instead of listening to the negative internal monologue – actually listen to another objective human point of view – preferably someone who knows you or someone you trust.
Actually listen to what they say.