at the blue lagoon

Here we go AGAIN! :(

I’ve been reading through posts on this blog. This is my twentieth post since I started in February 2013. You couldn’t exactly call me prolific. Apologies my posts have been few and far between.

There seems to be a pattern to my subject matter (aside from patchy hair loss). One time I post about how bad my hair is falling out – then my next is about regrowth – then I talk about loss and the following focuses on regrowth. This endless cycle of growth and loss with an upbeat message hammered in at the end has been my signature.

You can view them all in order here.

So is this one about loss or growth?

In my last post – I was yakking on and on about regrowth. I am still having regrowth – especially my chin and facial hair BUT – I also have lots and lots of new patches which I’m not too pleased about. So I guess this actually fits the pattern.

My facial hair regrowth

I grew out my beard (or what there is) over Xmas 2017 when I visited Iceland. As you can see from the picture (taken in the Blue Lagoon) my ‘beard’ is multicoloured and I only have regrowth in certain parts. The white hairs on my chin have been white for 4 years.

at the blue lagoon

White Beard at the Blue Lagoon!

 

The patches on my head continue to piss me off

I have been panicking since August 2017 that ‘my hair was going’ and I was convinced I would be bald again by the time I turned 40. Well I turned 40 in December 2017 but I still had hair – the Iceland picture was taken just after my birthday in December.

My hair has thinned out considerably and there are patches creeping around all over the place. I keep asking my partner  – “Do I need to shave again??” and I’m reassured by him – “Not yet”. I asked my hairdresser recently, who told me to “relax”. This was two weeks ago – since then – the holes have increased and started to join up. Have a look at my current hairline and tell me not to worry…

a man with alopecia

my ever disappearing hairline – April 2nd 2018

Think positive or think real?

My previous train of thought was – if you think and expect something -(and then obsess over it) you invite it. This belief is stronger when your hair has regrown and isn’t falling out. It gets harder and harder when your hair does start falling out again. As mine is now.

I don’t want to be negative or get lost in a depression like I did when my hair first fell out as I know it grew back and it might again. It doesn’t help when I see hair everywhere – on my desk, pillow, the bath, my car seat – everywhere! I can hide the spots by styling but again – the wind, rain and freak weather is once again my enemy and part of me wants to just own this shit and shave my head.

patches of alopecia

I am trying to latch onto the fact that new holes appeared (then disappeared/my hair grew back) in January 2017 – as I detailed here. This current period of loss may magically grow in like it did then. BUT my brain keeps saying “No it won’t  – look at yourself” and the negative feelings continue to rise.

Even my bloody eyebrow  – as you can see in the first image – also has a patch missing. FFS!!!

Why now?

I’m in a really stressful moment in my life – I have gone part time at work – headed back to do a full time masters degree and am generally always really busy and stressed. This may be having an effect on my hair – or it may not – WHO EVEN KNOWS ANYMORE!

I am still taking the LDN, hair goop, vitamins and all the rest but at the moment at least – none of them seem to be working. Maybe it’s just my time to shed and this is always going to happen. It may just be that I am SHITE at managing stress and this is the result. I graduate in October and work is ramping down soon – so  – as ever – I will keep you updated and let you know whether this is pure stress or the result of something else!

When am I going to blog next?

I will shortly be posting blog updates which have been written by a couple of people I have met through writing this blog. They are going to tell their story so you can see how they coped and what they went through.

And if I do ‘the big shave’ again – I will record it and upload to the site.

Speak soon

Reece

10 comments

  1. Hey Reece, none of us know…. My condition is following yours EXACTLY so I’m not expecting the recent regrowth to last, despite what my wife thinks!
    Mate, you look great hair or no hair so just keep focused on what’s important in life!
    Wishing us all the best!
    David

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  2. Hi Reece,
    I’ve been following your blog since my condition started this April. My chin looks exactly like yours did after 4 months. I already have a spot on they back of my head and a couple on my neck. I’ve been for 8 rounds of cortisteroid shots which haven’t had any effect. The patches just continue to grow and invite their friends. I think my trigger may have been moving. I was breathing in mold in my new home and developed it 18 days after moving in. I’ve never been more terrified and powerless in my life. I feel so bad for what you went through. What irks me the most is ppl deduce being concerned about this to vanity. I’m she they’d be just as concerned if it was happening to them. – Mike

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  3. Hi Reece. I have been following your blog for a while now. My partner started with alopecia about 5 years ago. He has psoriasis and has just been diagnosed with psiactic arthritis. We can see an obvious link but his doctors seem to brush it off as if its nothing. He just has to deal with it! He has just recently stopped working as he is in too much pain. His hair, eyebrows and lashes are falling out continuously and well at 40 he it is sad that he feels so inadequate to provide for his family. This is a cruel disease and it needs more funding and research. I worry that it is npt taken as a priority and recently in my home town a young man took his own life due to alopecia. I know we should not be vain but in this society with so much sociel media all about looks it must be hard for people siffering with alopecia. I pray to god that this disease is taken seriously and more funding and research will be done to help sufferers. One of the guys from hairy bikers once said that he had alopecia for 30 years. One day doctors discovered a benign tumour on his brain. Removed it and his hair grew back. Drs said it was a coincidence. I beg to differ? Please continue with your blog Reece. My partner and I find a bit of hope and comfort from them x

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    1. Hey there – thanks so much for your words about the blog. I totally agree about the link between other autoimmune diseases. My twin sister has severe psoriasis and Yusuf – who wrote a guest blog also has the same link as your partner.

      It is awful and sometimes seen as a cosmetic disease but I am hopeful a breakthrough will come in the next few years. How is your partner doing now – is he still off work? I hope he is feeling better and back at work? Has he tried other changes in diet etc?

      Thanks again for your comment

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  4. Nov 2018 and my hair is now again falling out, like i said, EXACTLY the same as your progress/regress. I guess I should be thankful for the 7 months of hair! Hope you are keeping well Reece!

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  5. Hey reese its sisto, lost all my hair to alopecia but I just finished scalp micropigmentation. My head looks great so fuck alopecia. I thought you might like this

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